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About the retreat

Live NVC together

Our intention for this retreat is to immerse ourselves in the practice of compassionately embracing and transforming our thinking whilst living NVC together with others who are committed to the practice.

We don’t have to be masters or even “good” at NVC. We don’t have to speak in a particular way or be fully practised in empathic listening. Anyone who has learned the basic steps of NVC can come and join in and have a go at showing up with as much compassion for us all doing our best.

I, Penny, will hold and facilitate the space and help us create the container for a safe space to practice together. All sorts of feelings can show up. They are all welcome. I have many years of experience in holding spaces for people in this way and the almost unanimous conclusion by the end of them is people’s faith in humanity is restored and, by the end, people generally feel relieved of some of the weight they were carrying alone.

Alex will bring his years of practicing NVC into the mix too and I am delighted to be working alongside him for the first time. He brings a willingness to be honest and vulnerability… I love having male role-models for this in a society where male vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, rather than the strength it is.

Each day, we will create what we want to do together. From experience, this will almost inevitably include group time where we have the opportunity to share deeply together - or witness others doing so if we are not ready to do so ourself. We will also build in times for walking, reflecting or being creative. There will almost certainly be emergent teaching moments though none are planned!

What does it look and feel like to live from an NVC consciousness? Do we need to give up our truth in the name of being ‘nice’? Do we have to abandon ourself in order to be ‘nonviolent’ to others?

Let’s practise together!

Let’s build confidence that all our needs really matter. Let’s practise speaking about what we are feeling, what we are needing and naming the grief of our unmet needs. Let us also connect to what we feel grateful for. Let’s step up to making requests of one another with enough resilience to be willing to hear a no and enough curiosity to wonder what the other is in fact saying yes to - their needs mattering too….

Let us practice neither abandoning our own needs, nor imposing our needs on another when someone asks something of us. Learning to hold the dilemma of unmet needs together. And let us learn to trust that we are doing the best we can with the words we have and that is enough - just be you!

In this way I anticipate us all leaving with a greater sense of self-connection and inspiration than when we began.

Here are some things you could practise

• Bringing greater compassion to yourself

• Considering both your own and others’ needs when requests are made

• Connecting to your needs

• Being curious about others’ needs when they behave in a way that doesn’t make sense to you

• Giving yourself space to say no

• Making vulnerable requests

• Transforming harsh thoughts into feelings and needs language

• Receiving and giving empathy

• Bringing respect and compassion for each others’ differences

• Choosing when to step up and share with vulnerability and when to witness and stay quiet

Here are some things people say they get from being on a Living NVC retreat

• Growing understanding of empathy through witnessing it in practice

• Relief at being received with compassion rather than judgement

• New insights on current life challenges

• Greater trust in coming up with your own creative solutions through the power of being empathically received

• A delicious sense of group cohesion through shared humanity being expressed

• Greater self-acceptance

• Greater ability to hold on to your own needs whilst considering others

• Rest from everyday life and integration time

• Greater resourcefulness when you step back into your home environment

I hope, if you have got nothing else from learning NVC, that you will know that it doesn’t adhere to the idea that we have to give up anything. Instead, we can learn to notice that, when we choose to communicate our needs rather than our judgments, we are more likely to enjoy the connections that emerge than when we blame, judge or use a punitive system to coerce people to do what we want or need.

My own personal intention for the retreat

Through my years of practice, I have trust in myself to show up with empathy (including self-empathy) for all of us - And, I want to show up as a human being - not as a ‘professional’ (which more often than not is code for not being fully authentic and/or vulnerable). Instead, I want to show up as facilitator, assistant and vulnerable human-being so that we all embrace this new-paradigm and live it into being.

My wish for you

I invite you to show up as you are - no need to ‘have enough skills’ or ‘be’ a certain way - just a willingness and an intention to connect to yourself and others with compassion